Properly Cool Music Festivals

Coachella is already sold out and there’s no Glastonbury this year. Bah, who wanted to go to them anyway? Here’s a handful of much cooler suggestions. All Tomorrow’s Parties, England, March 9-11 and December 7-9 Its setting could barely be any less rock n’ roll – flitting between one of two British seaside holiday camps (with a summer and a Christmas version), festivalgoers sleep in small chalets fitted out with bathrooms and TVs. That doesn’t stop ATP from being one of the coolest festivals on the world circuit though. Last December’s festival was postponed, so you’ve still got the chance to catch the likes of Joanna Newsom, The Magnetic Fields and Yann Tierson in March. Vive Latino, Mexico, March 23-25 Mexico City knows how to put on a party, and it’s no surprise that Vive Latino is one of the finest rock en español festivals on the planet. Since its inception in 1998, Vive Latino has burgeoned from a one-day to a three-day shindig, and the 2012 bill boasts the likes of Caramelos de Cianuro, Mexican Institute of Sound, plus the distinctly un-Latin Madness. Montreaux Jazz Festival, Switzerland, June 29-July 14 Overlooking the sublime waters of Lake Geneva, the Montreaux Jazz Festival was forever etched into musical history by Deep Purple, whose Smoke on the Water is about a fire that broke out here in 1971. It remains one of the most prestigious jazz festivals in Europe and since the 1980s has branched out into a lip-smacking smorgasbord of world music. Past visitors have been James Brown, Art Blakey and Marvin Gaye. KaZantip, Ukraine, July 20-August 26 If you manage to last even a quarter of KaZantip, you possess superhuman strength. This electro dance fest pulses away for no less than five to six weeks, with ravers swamping the Crimean peninsula for a beach party that’s hard to beat. Be sure to pack orange clothes into a yellow suitcase; this has become a fashion synonymous with KaZantip attendees. Fuji Rock Festival, Japan, July 27-19 The organizers of the Fuji Rock Festival haven’t wasted any time in securing acts for 2012. Freshly- reformed Mancunians Stone Roses are already confirmed, along with the ever-morphing Radiohead. The spectacular line-up will be accompanied by the equally stunning scenery of the Naeba Ski Resort, where the festival relocated to (it was originally located at the b*ase of Mount Fuji) in 1999. The hysterical Japanese love for rock is always bound to make this festival a memorable one. Oppikoppi, South Africa, August 5-7 You’ve got to hand it to Oppikoppi; here’s a festival that knows how to be inventive with its themes. Previous subtitles have included “Rock, Paper, Scissors”, “How’s Your Mother?” and “Blood is thicker than Soda Water”. Situated in South Africa’s Limpopo Province (which itself is rich with mineral reserves of gold, diamond and emeralds), Oppikoppi is a heady fusion of all number of rock, blues, jazz, hip-hop… in fact pretty much everything. Rule #6 of this year’s Oppikoppi simply states: “Chaos=Good”. Enough said.